Dunno what to talk about

But it's been a week, so I should write something.

My surgery is scheduled for January 19th. I scheduled it on a Monday because I'm off on Mondays and Tuesdays. My bosses said they would cover my Wednesday shift so that I could have an extra day to recooperate and I have to work an extra day the week before because female boss will be in Texas for a meeting. I will have off until that Thursday night. That should be plenty of time to recover. I'm actually getting excited about the results that I will most likely get from the surgery. Just a few more weeks and one more lovely visit from my monthly friend before I (hopefully) never see her stupid face again :)

I'm going back and forth about whether to contact an old friend with which I had a falling out earlier this year. This is a former co-worker, who did not leave on good terms. Her departure caused me a lot of shit at work to deal with, but ultimately was great because the job wasn't right for her and she was miserable, thereby making the staff miserable. Funny how when she worked Sundays, I had a shortage of servers, but after she left, I have an abundance of people who can work on Sundays.

Anyway - we parted on very bad terms. Mostly because my boss backed me into a corner, based on what this person had done, and I needed to prove to her that I wasn't leaving, so I let her know that the other manager had been trying to get me to leave the restaurant, but I said no. Well, my friend took that as an afront to her - a stabbing in the back, as it were. I don't see it that way. I had to save my reputation at work. There is nothing like hearing "I can't trust anything you say because *** lied right to my face, why wouldn't you?" Um, because I wouldn't?

Long story short, she has made up with the owner of the restaurant and, apparently, has been coming by the restaurant on Saturday nights. It bothers me, I won't lie. Mostly because I listened to all the insults she spewed about my bosses before she left. But, I understand people get angry, disillusioned, whatever. Now that she's at the restaurant on a semi-regular basis, I feel like perhaps I should reach out and repair the situation. I don't want to run into her there and have it be awkward. This is MY job and I will not be made to be uncomfortable at MY job because of someone else.

If I do reach out, I run the risk of being hurt again. It really sucked when the friendship ended because we used to hang out all the time. I seriously don't want to open up the door to having her be an asshole to me.

So, I have to figure out if I want to do it or not.

Cassie finally got a job, but she hasn't started yet. Not exactly sure when she will start. At least some of my 'up in the air' crap is now down on solid ground, so that definitely helps my stress levels.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I'm closing at the restaurant - should be a fun night. I hope all of you have a great New Year's and are safe, safe, safe!!!

Debbie Downer

Yup, this is going to be a whining post, so if you don't want to see that, then stop reading.

Cassie still has no job. My house is still not my house.

I've elected to have a procedure done in the near future that will possibly eliminate all of my GYN issues. I'm nervous about that, plus it's still not scheduled and because of the holidays, I won't find out when it is scheduled until next week or later. I hate waiting. I hate the unknown.

Let's see - oh yeah, I woke up with an awesome head cold. Two days before Xmas. This rocks. Nothing is wrapped. NOTHING. No stocking stuffers are bought. And I feel like shit.

There is this woman who is my mom's best friend. I loathe her. I can't stand her. I hate the mere mention of her name. I definitely don't want her involved in my life in any way. Unfortunately, I ran into her at my parents house a year or so ago, with Zack, and she proceeds to tell him that she's my 'other mother' - she's gone my whole life saying this.

How can you be my other mother when I HATE YOU???? She's had NO part of my adult life, who the fuck does she think she is saying these things to my kid. I'm pissed because ever since then, he keeps saying he has 3 grandmothers. No, dude, you don't - you have TWO. She has set eyes on him twice in his ENTIRE life - how is that a grandmother?

ANYWAY - I get an email from my mom this morning. "*insert dreaded name here* said that *insert actual daughter's name here* showed her some pictures that you posted on Facebook. How do I see them?" Oh lovely - now she sees pictures of my family without my consent? I like her daughter. I grew up with her. I don't want to de-friend her, but I sure as SHIT don't want this woman knowing anything about my life and seeing pictures of my children. I also sure as shit don't want my mom on Facebook haha

I'm just a raging bitch today. I should do some retail therapy. I got an incredible cash bonus from my bosses and I'm determined to spend it on fun and completely unnecessary stuff. But, I don't want to go out shopping two days before Xmas - that's insane.

I need to go back to bed - I feel like shit. Merry fucking Xmas.

Control Issues

I haz them.

I am not liking my life right now. Cassie's boyfriend broke up with her, so now she's living here again. I don't like this at all because she's done absolutely nothing about getting a job, going to school, etc. She hasn't been home a week yet, but she could at least make an effort. She's done a lot of talking, but no actions.

Unless you count sleeping all day and then sitting on her laptop on the internet in her room, actions. I feel like I have little or no control over this at this point.

I got an abnormal test result a few days ago. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. Nothing I can do about it. I have no control over the situation.

My days off are now not really my days off because I used to have the house to myself, now I don't. It's a huge difference. I don't care if she's upstairs right now, the fact of the matter is, I have lost my alone time. This was really precious to me. I went a solid 10 years of rarely having time to myself, let alone having the house to myself. I earned the 3 mornings a week that I have the house to myself while the boys are in school. Now, I don't have it. Lost control of that situation, as well.

I am really down. I need something good to happen this week. Zack's birthday is Thursday, so that's definitely something to look forward to. Of course, he's getting older and I can't control that. Hate it ;)

I finally convinced him to get a hair cut. Gosh, he looks so handsome and grown up. Can't believe he's almost 7. Amazing.

11 Years.

Today is my 11th wedding anniversary. 13 years together, 11 married.

Wow, that's a long time when you say it out loud.

I thought I was ok with the fact that we won't see each other today (Dave left for work before I woke up and I have to close tonight, so I will leave before he gets home and won't get home until after midnight most likely). Now, I'm not so sure. I'm kinda pissed off about it now.

Today's our anniversary and we should at least get to see each other at some point. Maybe I'm being a whiney baby (entirely possible). We have a great day planned tomorrow to celebrate, but it's not the same.

On a happier note, my friends are having their twins today. It's a little early, but I'm sure everything will be fine. Maybe I will get to visit with them before I go into work.

Today is a good day all around, even if I don't get to see my husband of 11 years. 11 years. Wow.