Maury Povich is a whore...

Apparently, he's got quite the exra-curricular love life. Entertainment Tonight is in heaven. All I could do when I saw the article was giggle. If someone wants to jack up his wrinkly ass, more power to 'em, I suppose.

No, it's not cool that he cheated on his wife (ALLEGEDLY) - no, it's not cool that it's being plastered everywhere. Does anyone really care?

Now, it's all this "Will he and Connie stay together?" Seriously? Who cares?? Leave them be and let them get on with their lives.

Oh, and Tom Cruise apparently announced that Katie Holmes is a mom now, so she will be going by the name of Kate from now on. Brainwashing much? Can she actually speak for herself anymore or has he had her tongue removed?

Open Letter to Chris Martin.

I understand that you love me now. There's honestly no need to stalk me though, cuz hey, if you want me, come and get me. Dave won't mind.

I thought it was a tad coincidental that you got married on December 5th, which is also my anniversary. I figured, hey, that's kinda funny.

However, now I know that you love me. Your son, Moses, was born on my birthday. I'm sure you planned it that way. It's probably a wise idea not to tell your wife though, she might get upset. Also, she's pretty powerful and might have me killed.

I like my family and stuff, so please don't cause my death.

However, if you ever want a dark-haired kid, I make seriously cute ones. I'll happily give you my address and you can come on over. Just let my husband video tape it, ok?

To the following states:

Idaho
Utah
North Dakota
South Dakota
Nevada
Arkansas
Wyoming

And last but not least, Hawaii

I don't like you anymore. You ruined my car game. Because of you, I didn't see all 50 license plates on my trip to Disney World. Way to ruin my hopes and dreams. Fuckers.

Disney, Zack style

As heard after leaving the It's a Small World ride:

My son, singing in perfect pitch to the song in a sweet, angelic voice, but with a slight modification of the words, all his own creation:

"Please do not fart in my face"

Yes, I know you just sang it to yourself and yes, I know it fits perfectly.

You're welcome for ruining this song for you forever. I figured I'd share the wealth.

4 Word Update

This

Place

Is

Awesome!!!!

And Awaaaaaaayyyyyy we go!!!!

T-minus 8 hours until our vacation. We're 99% packed up. There are still a few things in the laundry that need to be packed (isn't that always the way?) I bought Zack and Alex some invisible ink games to play in the car and we've packed a ton of movies. The Leapster is packed as well. The back seat of the van is set up nicely for Alex & Cassie to go right to sleep when we get in the car. I have a blanket for Zack as well.

The plan is to hit the road about 3am. It's almost 8 now, so I'm going to head up to bed and try to get to sleep early. I've been exhausted all day, so it really shouldn't be a problem. I need to finish packing up the clothes first.

Family of 5 - 3 suitcases, that's not bad!!!

Cutest thing happened today - I called to make a reservation for a special safari on Sunday (it's my birthday - yippie). Zack was being his usual rowdy self and making tons of noise. The guy on the phone said "Let me talk to Zack for a second" which I thought was kinda strange, but hey, what did I care? Zack grabs the phone and I hear the BEST Mickey Mouse impression coming through the ear piece. So Zack and "Mickey" talk for a minute or so and then he hands me the phone and sits next to me, quiet as a mouse. Turns out "Mickey" told him that if he was quiet and let me finish, he would get to talk again.

Worked like a charm. I finished up with the rez and gave Zack the phone back. That boy busted into the BIGGEST smile when "Mickey" started talking again. He was in heaven. How incredibly sweet that guy was. He sure made my day - and Zack's.

Ok, I'm gonna pack this baby up (can't possibly go on vacation without my laptop, that would just be silly), get the boys to bed and crash myself. Wish us luck on the drive. 14 hours with 3 kids should be very interesting.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Our vacation is almost here!! I feel like I still have so much to do. I want the house clean, but it's not going to clean itself. I have to work tonight and tomorrow and I don't want to. I want to stay home and get stuff done.

My big project before we leave? Getting the computer room in order. This is no small feat. It's a disaster area. It's become the place where we dump stuff when we're cleaning out the other rooms. Not to mention the filing cabinet, which has papers from when we were first together 11 years ago to stuff that Dave had before we were together.

Time to get out the shredder!!!