Things That Should Be Illegal
Or at least punishable by a flogging:
1. Phone calls before 8am that aren't "oh my god, there's blood everywhere" or "the house is on fire" in nature.
2. The way the toilet is linked to the shower. Why can't they make it so you flush and it doesn't affect the water temperature? You'd think in this day and age, they could.
3. Sizes differences in clothing. A 10 should be a 10, no matter the designer. I think it's seriously f'd up that I'm a 14 in some brands and a friggin' 18 in others. That's really disheartening. On the other hand, it's cool when I fit in a size way smaller than I thought, so maybe I take this one back.
4. Pets wearing clothes. End of story.
5. Morons. Seriously. I don't mean people who aren't book smart, or what have you. I mean morons. They invade my life daily.
6. Campaigning more than 1 year before the election. Has this, or has this not, been THE longest election ever?? Can you believe there were debates and such last year? I want this over with, now!!!
7. People that everyone and their mother know are gay, who come out with this huge proclimation, like it's a shock or a surprise. Let's talk Clay Aiken, Ellen DeGeneres (whom I love, don't get me wrong), Lance Bass, etc. Like my friend from high school, Robbie - everyone knew you were gay - you're not shocking or surprising anyone. As the Kids in the Hall put it "you're gay. Homosexual. Your wife knows it, I know, DOGS know it, the only person that doesn't seem to know it is you."
I'm sure I'll come up with some more to add to this list soon.
1. Phone calls before 8am that aren't "oh my god, there's blood everywhere" or "the house is on fire" in nature.
2. The way the toilet is linked to the shower. Why can't they make it so you flush and it doesn't affect the water temperature? You'd think in this day and age, they could.
3. Sizes differences in clothing. A 10 should be a 10, no matter the designer. I think it's seriously f'd up that I'm a 14 in some brands and a friggin' 18 in others. That's really disheartening. On the other hand, it's cool when I fit in a size way smaller than I thought, so maybe I take this one back.
4. Pets wearing clothes. End of story.
5. Morons. Seriously. I don't mean people who aren't book smart, or what have you. I mean morons. They invade my life daily.
6. Campaigning more than 1 year before the election. Has this, or has this not, been THE longest election ever?? Can you believe there were debates and such last year? I want this over with, now!!!
7. People that everyone and their mother know are gay, who come out with this huge proclimation, like it's a shock or a surprise. Let's talk Clay Aiken, Ellen DeGeneres (whom I love, don't get me wrong), Lance Bass, etc. Like my friend from high school, Robbie - everyone knew you were gay - you're not shocking or surprising anyone. As the Kids in the Hall put it "you're gay. Homosexual. Your wife knows it, I know, DOGS know it, the only person that doesn't seem to know it is you."
I'm sure I'll come up with some more to add to this list soon.
4 Comments:
Oh I had one in high school too. The hunkiest man ever that dated FUGLY girls...yeah...everyone knows, why don't you?
Here's one. Teenagers working in customer service. I'm not one to deny that we all need to go through the angst ridden angry years of hating authority and thinking all adults SUCK. But really, it shouldn't be inflicted upon everyone. I know their parents just want to share the joy, but come on.
I agree with everything on your list except for dogs in clothes. Please don't hate me! I also liked it when my asshole neighbor was in the shower and I was visiting his mom downstairs. I could turn on the sink and he was in for a happy surprise.
The shower/toilet thing- They do have those! Ours doesn't change the temperature- just the pressure a little bit! No idea what it is or where you find it or even if it is something you can add on to an existing set up. But it is grand. Not to rub it in. ;)
Ah, just what I needed to read! Great post. Now I can go to bed smiling.
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