Dazed and Confused

I finally have a day off after working a hellish week to make up for being off for the funeral. I'm trying to relax today, but it's not working. I did get a lot of stuff done that we needed done desperately.

Cleaned out my van (even vacuumed).
Laundry.
Got Zack new clothes at Target (Alex had a friend over to visit, so I'll take him next week).

Now, I'm sitting here and I'm just wiped out.

It's amazing how something can seem like such a little thing to one person, but be a huge deal to another. Neither person is necessarily 100% right in their view, but they each feel like they are.

I've got some rough road ahead and some big decisions to make. I don't want to. I'd rather just stick my head in the sand and pretend that it's all ok. But, it's not and I'm not happy right now. Of course, the full decision is not entirely mine to make and I am at the mercy, essentially, of someone else. I do not like being in that position. I'm too independent for that - but that's where I am.

I'm angry, too. I post angry things, then I erase them because it's not what I really mean and right now everything that I say is being picked apart. I'm not a perfect person. I've made a lot of changes in the last few years, but the changes for the better don't seem to matter.

Only the bad.

I'm so tired. So very, very tired.