ue I'm More Than Just a Mom...I Think: When do you throw in the towel?u

Sunday, June 08, 2008

When do you throw in the towel?

I've been part of this online community for nearly 6 years now. Many of the women I post with, I consider to be very good friends. I've met people from all over the world and it's always a very interesting place to be. I have worked close with admin on a lot of issues with the site and feel party responsible for what a cool place it's turned out to be.

But the thing is...it doesn't make me happy there anymore. There are very few boards where I want to post and be involved. Really, the only one that comes to mind is the Atheist/Agnostic Families board. Those women kick some serious ass. There are some other boards that I've enjoyed very much in the past that are driving me absolutely bonkers right now.

I'm tired of the rules. I'm tired of feeling like a child who has mommy and daddy watching her every move. I'm exceptionally tired of the bitches who get away with breaking the rules and never get punished. Or they get a little punishment, a slap on the hand, but then admin gives them a nice wink and nod like "hey, I wouldn't punish you if I didn't HAVE to, but I'm doing it to shut up the trouble makers who are mad about it." Mostly, I'm just tired.

I mostly only feel stress when I'm there. I love the A/A board, and I don't want to leave those ladies. There are so many women there who need non-religious support and some who are scared to 'come out' as it were and I want to be there to help them be confident in their lack of religious faith.

But, is it worth all the heartache?

I want to walk away completely, but I don't know if I have the willpower. There's a private board that's very close to my heart that I fought and fought to get. Unforunately, there are new members popping up there all the time that need help and, honestly, a lot of the members on that board look to me to respond to the threads. I can't leave those women. THey are hurting so much and need to hear that they can get through things and not completely crumble.

I'm just so very torn.

A part of me wants to go out in a blaze of glory and tell this one user off who I think is one of the most vile, disgusting, and ungodly people I've ever met. She, of course, thinks she's the perfect Christian - way better than the others on the site. She makes me vomit. I want to tell her everything I've ever wanted to say - I will surely be banned if I do that.

Maybe that's what I need to get completely away from the place. The entire site, as a whole, just sucks the life out of me. I get so angry and depressed being around there.

Seems like an obvious decision eh? Not so much - I've posted with some of these women for 6 years...that's a long time.

What to do, what to do.

3 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer said...

Well I'd hate for you to leave, but you absolutely have to do what's right for you.

Take a break, give it some time.

And, you know I hate whats-her-name too. I'd love to see her tell her where to get off - but I'd love more for you to stay.

Love you much.

7:28 PM  
Anonymous Claudine said...

Awe (rubs Cathy on head)...

12:35 PM  
Anonymous ShellyKP said...

doitdoitdoitdoit

It's not like we can't find you on Myspace or other places. It'll make you feeeeel better!

1:43 AM  

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