Pure Evil, Plain and Simple.

I know what you're thinking? How on earth could pseudo-claymation reindeers and elves be evil? I don't care what you think - they are.

Since as far back as I can remember, I have had a petrifying fear of these "cartoons". I can remember very clearly being 5 years old and watching a certain one of these cartoons. No, I will not tell you which one. I watched it, transfixed yet terrified at the same time while these scary, creepy, freaky things were dancing and singing on the television. I went to bed and remember waking up screaming, terrified, not even a few hours later. I can still remember the dream - they were singing their songs in my dream. I ran down the stairs, sobbing and the babysitter told me not to be silly and to go back to bed. But how could I? When I walked the long walk back up the stairs, I just knew those things were waiting in my room for me. And they were going to sing, dance, and kill me.

I can also remember watching, some time later, the one about Baby New Year. My heart raced when the big bird was on screen and I started to cry. Not loud enough for anyone to hear because I didn't want to be called "silly" again. I haven't been able to watch them since.

As a college student, I made the terrible mistake of accepting a job at Blockbuster Video. It was a great job until Christmas time. When Christmas rolled around, suddenly our manager was obsessed with putting on these cartoons. I know she hated me and did it just to upset me. And wouldn't you know - they found "the one". The one that would make me stop in my tracks, cover my ears and sing until the dreaded "things" were off the screen. When I see those things, the ones I won't identify until I'm on my deathbed, sometimes I get so freaked out I will cry a little. Still, at 32 years old.

And for my 32nd birthday, a package arrived from Amazon.com. I was so excited - someone had sent me a present that I wasn't expecting, what could it be? I read the card and saw it was from the wonderful women on my private birth board. But, what was this? The card led me to believe that this present was not all it appeared. I ripped open the packaging like a 3 year old on Christmas and promptly dropped the box on the floor in shock.

Inside was a complete set of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer figurines. After my near heart-attack, I laughed myself silly. The gift was hysterical. Good thing it wasn't the ones that make me soil my underwear, that's for sure.

My fingers are not the steadiest right now, still after several minutes of typing all this. I went looking for pictures to post here and saw "them". My heart rate is elevated, for sure.

And of course, Christmas is right around the corner. I can expect many mockings and my darling husband to some how trick me into looking up at the television as he quickly changes the channel to one of these horrid cartoons. Just to watch me squirm. God love him.