An Attempt at Positivity
My therapist says I'm too down on myself - that I have no self-esteem. I can't argue with her or pretend she's wrong. She's absolutely right on the money.
Why don't I like myself? I've pondered this for decades and I still have no answer. There is not one event which occured in my life that makes me hate myself. I've done some bad things, but I didn't like myself even before those happened. What is it about me that I don't like? How about this, instead of focusing on what I don't like, I will focus on what I do like.
What makes Cathy great:
1. I'm a great friend. I don't think I've ever told a friend I was too busy to talk to them when they needed me.
2. I'm funny. Yes, I am funny. I make people laugh. And not just titter, I can make some people laugh so hard, they cry.
3. I'm a great mom. My daughter is the the perfect example of that. She's been through a lot. She is old enough to remember living with her biological mom. She has felt rejected by her mom and has gone through her parents' divorce. She's been through custody changes and her mother moving across the country (and in turn, rarely seeing her). Yet, she is happy. She is content, loved, respectful, honest, and caring. She is happy to make us happy, but also great at speaking her mind when she thinks something is unfair. I do not take full credit for this. In fact, I give David most of the credit. For a long time, I didn't get along well with Cassie. I couldn't relate to her. She was so girly and I was so...NOT. But, with time and effort from me, we've grown extremely close. Closer than I ever thought we could be. I look forward to seeing her every day when she gets home from school and talking to her. She's a great kid. And part of the reason she's so happy is because I'm a great mom!
4. I'm a great legal assistant. I do my job well and fast. There's a reason my boss begged me not to quit a few months ago. Because I'm great.
5. I am determined. If I want something, I will go for it full-throttle.
6. I'm a good writer. I don't say great because, well, that's snotty and I have no place to say that I'm a great writer - I'm not published ;) I can convey my thoughts into words that everyone can relate to, or at least understand.
7. I'm a great organizer and planner. Ask David. He'll tell you that, and not because I asked him to.
8. I'm a great speller.
9. I am reliable and punctual.
10. I am an accomplished musician. While I haven't played in years, oh who am I kidding, it's been a decade, at one time my talent ruled my life. I won the highest seat possible in the All State Orchestra (which is above the band by the way) my senior year of high school on an instrument that I picked up and began playing my freshman year. Not an easy instrument either - the bassoon. I went on to get a scholarship and major in music. Even if I don't play anymore, I was great at it once.
Why don't I like myself? I've pondered this for decades and I still have no answer. There is not one event which occured in my life that makes me hate myself. I've done some bad things, but I didn't like myself even before those happened. What is it about me that I don't like? How about this, instead of focusing on what I don't like, I will focus on what I do like.
What makes Cathy great:
1. I'm a great friend. I don't think I've ever told a friend I was too busy to talk to them when they needed me.
2. I'm funny. Yes, I am funny. I make people laugh. And not just titter, I can make some people laugh so hard, they cry.
3. I'm a great mom. My daughter is the the perfect example of that. She's been through a lot. She is old enough to remember living with her biological mom. She has felt rejected by her mom and has gone through her parents' divorce. She's been through custody changes and her mother moving across the country (and in turn, rarely seeing her). Yet, she is happy. She is content, loved, respectful, honest, and caring. She is happy to make us happy, but also great at speaking her mind when she thinks something is unfair. I do not take full credit for this. In fact, I give David most of the credit. For a long time, I didn't get along well with Cassie. I couldn't relate to her. She was so girly and I was so...NOT. But, with time and effort from me, we've grown extremely close. Closer than I ever thought we could be. I look forward to seeing her every day when she gets home from school and talking to her. She's a great kid. And part of the reason she's so happy is because I'm a great mom!
4. I'm a great legal assistant. I do my job well and fast. There's a reason my boss begged me not to quit a few months ago. Because I'm great.
5. I am determined. If I want something, I will go for it full-throttle.
6. I'm a good writer. I don't say great because, well, that's snotty and I have no place to say that I'm a great writer - I'm not published ;) I can convey my thoughts into words that everyone can relate to, or at least understand.
7. I'm a great organizer and planner. Ask David. He'll tell you that, and not because I asked him to.
8. I'm a great speller.
9. I am reliable and punctual.
10. I am an accomplished musician. While I haven't played in years, oh who am I kidding, it's been a decade, at one time my talent ruled my life. I won the highest seat possible in the All State Orchestra (which is above the band by the way) my senior year of high school on an instrument that I picked up and began playing my freshman year. Not an easy instrument either - the bassoon. I went on to get a scholarship and major in music. Even if I don't play anymore, I was great at it once.
1 Comments:
Ahh ... see, "Cathy the Great" -- totally apropos. You forgot, however, to mention your superior grammar skills.
Never apologize for great.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous.' Actually, who are you not to be. You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened by shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same..."
marianne williamson
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