ue I'm More Than Just a Mom...I Think: Karma vs. Godu

Friday, August 27, 2004

Karma vs. God

I believe in Karma. I think that if you do horrible things, it will come back to bite you in the ass one day and horrible things will happen to you. In the alternative, if you do good things, good things will happen to you in return. This is not always the case, there are always exceptions to the rule. Also, it's not just horrible things that will turn around on you, smaller things will as well. Such as, I think if someone is really judgemental, it's likely that something will happen to them later to make them "see the light" so to speak. I'm one of those people for sure.

I don't, however, believe in God. I want to. I've sometimes been near tears because I just don't believe in God. No matter how hard I try, my scientific mind takes over. Adam & Eve - genetically impossible. We would all be inbreds with deformities. Noah's Ark - same thing. Parting of the sea? Seriously? Come on. Obviously, I don't believe that someone can die and be ressurected a few days later. I wish I did. I wish I had the blind faith that some of my friends have. I don't think badly of them for having this faith, in fact, I'm jealous. This is certainly tied to my phobia of death, I'm sure.

So how can I believe in Karma and not in God? Not sure. I just do. I'm a flip-flopper by nature. I often change my opinion on things, because I obtain new information and sometimes it's enough to sway me to the other side. I've been to church, even as an adult, but still, I haven't found anything to change my mind about this.

I've pondered reincarnation too. The only thing about that, aside from the scientific impossibility of course, is the idea of reincarnation doesn't comfort me about dying either. Because, even if I were reincarnated, I wouldn't have any memory of my life now. The idea of dying and never seeing my children again depresses me. Never knowing what happened to them, whether they were happy and satisfied in their lives, is enough to make me tear up.

Kinda like now. Sigh. I really wish I could believe in something. Those of you who do, you are lucky, you really are.

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