ue I'm More Than Just a Mom...I Think: Friendship is What You Make of it...u

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Friendship is What You Make of it...

I have met a lot of people in person that I had initially "met" on the Internet. I'm used to the weird looks, the glances, the flat-out rudeness of some people who just don't understand how I can call people that I talk to on a computer "friends". I have a friend whose mom actually told her that I could be a murderer coming out to kill her. Yeah, cuz paying for 2 plane tickets, in my name, and bringing my baby with me are sure signs of a serial killer. It's no wonder they never caught the Zodiac killer - they weren't looking for the right type of person. Female, 30's, married with kids - makes sense, doesn't it?

In all seriousness, I have a close-knit group of Internet friends. When something good happens to me, I want to share it with them first (after David, of course). If something bad happens, I run to them for support. It's easier to talk to them than my parents or IRL friends a lot of times. And why is that? Probably because typing is easier emotionally than saying the words. There are certain words that I don't like to leave my lips, but my fingers can get them out with ease. However, does that make my relationship with these friends any less real or satisfying? I say no.
I think our friendships are more solid than most of my IRL friendships that I've had (except for my closest of friends). I've logged hours/months/years of time talking to these women. I know so much about them and they, in turn, know some of my deepest thoughts and feelings. I don't have to worry about impressing them, whether I have the 'right' clothes, hair style, smell, etc. They love me for who I am. I'm not saying that my real-life friends don't, but there's so much less pressure with on-line friendships.

For instance, my friend Vanessa is here visiting. We've known each other for about 2 years now and our sons are the same age. When she showed up yesterday, at first it was a little strange, only because it was surreal to have this woman standing in front of me that I was used to typing to. And in about 2 minutes, I was totally at ease. Just as I knew I would be. We've been just relaxing, hanging out, talking, watching movies, and playing games. It's been wonderful!

So what makes a friend? Does it have to be someone that you have spent one-on-one time with in person? No, it doesn't. Are my bonds closer with the people that I have gotten a chance to meet with in person. I wouldn't say they are closer than the ones I haven't met, necessarily (some are), but it's more a case of my friendships with them have become closer because of meeting in person. Ultimately, I'd love to meet all of my online friends at some point - especially my ZF girls. That would be a blast!

So what is a friend? A friend is someone who listens to you, cares about you, and wants you to be happy. They love you no matter the things you have done. Whether it's someone you get to hug in person or have to use an emoticon to hug, it doesn't matter. Friends come in all shapes and sizes.

And all of my friends are X-Large because I need a lot of love and support (and I have a big ass to love and support) so they get a workout being my friend. But, they also get a fantastic friend in return. I'd do almost anything for a true friend.

And don't argue with me about that!


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